Tic Teh gr8est invader evur!
by InvaderZimmehz
Summary: One day, a mysterious girl comes to Earth. She's revealed to be the greatest invader ever, despite her height. Will shenwin the love of Zim or will she perish at tne evil hand of her rival? Read to find out!
1. CHAPTUR 1!

**2 h8erz: shut up my oc iz originol u stupid! Plz enjoy my story!**

Tic looked up at da talkests her long antenne goign amlost to the floor. the called her here 4 a very important reson. "Tic we called u here 4 a very importint resion." Red said. "Whut iz it?" She asked. "We need u 2 halp zim 2 destroy eatrh." Purple spock. "OMG! I GET TO HALP ZIMMEH!" She excited. "Ill b teh bEST INVADER EVUR MY TALLESTS!" she soluted. "But we dont want to giv u a SIR. U deserve much beter so were going ti give u a invader that also needz halp." Red explaened be F4 calling in a short Irkin. He wuz almost as short az Zmim. "dis iz Tye he'z gonne assist u."

"HAI I MAKE POSHUNS :P" He sad. "Zomg ur almsot as shirt as Zim but ur not as cute cuz ur not him." Tic taesed. "Ok nao go 2 irth b4 itz to l8t." Red shoted. "Ok baiz! :3" Tuc waved and left 2 her ship and turnt om Bring Me to Life (but it wuz the Kidz Bop vershon cuz i not alowed to lisem to teh actual :~:) then she got 2 eath in a few mins becaus sher hsip was faster than all ov da others. "Wao what a beautuful planet!" Tuc sed. But she needed a disgise so she put on a wig with long, blond hair and she didnt need eye things cuz she already dad human eyes but the colr was amethist. "Ono! U need a disgise!" She panicked to Rte. "I WANNA B A MONGOOSE™." (I hav 2 put dat dere so I dont get copyrite) "Lolz! Nu Imma make u a kitteh!" So she put a blue kiity out fit on him. "Der we go!" Tic happily said. "Yus! Nyan!"

Then dey ned a baes so she made teh ship do it and they got a pretty, pink base. "Yay! We finished! Nao letz go 2 skool!" She said.

 **ZOMG! Whutz gunna happen next?! Find out!**


	2. ChaPPER 2!

**DA STORY CONTINUZ!**

Tic entered tha classrroom. Her long blonge hair flowing her pink invad re suit swayed ad she wakled. "Haiz! I'm Tic!" Tic greeged but then she saw zim and GASP! "ONO! I FURGOT ALL ABOUT MY MISSION!"

"Whut r u talking about?" Zimmeh asked. "ZIMMEH IM SUPPOSED 2 HALP U ON UR MISSION!" SHE TOld sim. "Zomg! Dats grate!" Zim said. "Nuo you can't do taht!" Dib stiod up on hiz desk. "haha di stupid butt who cant get a stabl positiom in lief you cant even read Irken how shamfuel it that lets go zimmeh" Tic lahhed. "K" zim held Tics hand and they left too go 2 Tics base. "Im board letz goo on a date." Xim said. "GAPS! A DATE?!" Scream Tic. "Masturz got a guuuurlfrieeeend!" Gir said. "Yesh! I, zim has a gurlfriend!" Zim sed with pride.

"Hee, Tic haz a boyfrirnd!" Tye teesed. "Tye ur so meen! U never learn!" Tic cried. "Dun worry bby well go 2 the park." Zim comfroted. "YAYZ X3" Tic cheerde.

Da prak was super nicee. Birbs werr chirbimg & all da flowerz bloomed cuz Tic waz der. Tic and zAm sat on the binch untul Tic GLASPED. "Wut iz it bby?" Zim aske. Der wuz another Irken! Nd she was wering CUUter clothes tan Tuc and NOBODY looks cuter than Tic! "uhhmmm who da irk r yoy?" Tic asked. "Who the Irk r u?' Teh gurl asked. "I asked you first"

"I asked you second."

"Shez Invader tic. Lead of da cheerleaderz homecoming qureen part time model." Zim said 4 Tic cuz he wuz her bf. "Oh. Im Invader Sakura. Im new." She dais. "Who let u om dis planet?!"

"Tallest Miyuki."

"Tallest Miyuku iz ded. Hoo let u on dis planet!?"

"Who let U on dis plantet?!"

Tic gasoed in disgust. Nevur in her lyfe had she delad with dis meanness. "U kno wut sakura? Wer goig 2 set som rulz around her. Did is OUR planet. dis iz OUR park and UR naught going 2 git in our way." She told Sakura. "U kno whut? Ur my new arch nemisis." SAKURa said. "GOOD." Sed tic. "Im boreeed now im going 2 go elswer. Bye loserzzzz." Sakura left. "Omg bby im so hapy shez gone." Zim said. "Yeah me 2." tic replyd.

 **ono!**


	3. CHAPTUR 3: SUSPENSE!

**ZOMG! SUSPENSE! X3 lolz**

Tic and Zim kissed at teh park but Tic saw some1 all aloen. She saw dem werung all blk cuz dey haz no friendz and playing a video gaem. "Aw they look lonely :" tic sayed bF4 Going To her. "Hai! U look lonely!" She greeted but Gaz diodnt andwer. "Uuummm? Hewoo?" She waved her hand in fronp of her fsce wer she grapped it. "What. The. Actual. Fuck. Did. You. Do. To. Everyone." Gaz asked. "Whuuut? I didon do antying! And nu swesering!" Tic shuoted. She didnt kno wat she wuz talkin about! "Okay first of all, my brother comes home speaking in ultraviolent baby babble and run-on sentences. He NEVER shuts up now so I was forced to go here, then YOU wave your awful white glove in between my game slave amd my face." Gas ssed. "Waaah! Ur mean! U r not supur kewl!" Ticc cried. Gaz stered at hur befor geting uo and leavingm. "Yeh u betur run!" Toc yeldl. "I'm still walking." Gap responbed. (Gaz iz all da h8ers on my devanart XP) "Uggh! Y r ppl so mean 2 meh!" Tic criyed. "Idk y'our so pretty." Zim zam kissd her. "Zomg tank u" tuc giggled. "Dun wrry well krill ur nesmesis." Zim petted Tocz sholder. "Ur teh best zimmeh." Tic prased. "Nu...ur teh best."

 **dun tell my parents i wuz swering plz**


	4. Chapter 5: DA FITE!

**HAIIIIIIZ! ⊙ω⊙ Itz me agaiiiiiiin! Im bak frum da ded 2 upd8 4 u guyz!**

"I AM HERE 2 CLAIM TIC 4 DOMMANCE!" Dlip excliped. "O rly? I'd like 2 see u die tryign." Zim repiled wif Tic holdin on 2* her boifrend. Dib deb got on a sk8 boars andddddddddd

SK8

OLLIE

JUNP

ASCEND

He ascended so hei tat he got 450 fee tin teh air.

Zim shitted, " _SHIIIIIIIIT"_

"Zim-Zam the space man I am srrt but he nao haz me.I must go." Tic was now dominens-iwned by derb. But owo whutz dis? ZiM HAZ TEH ULTIMITE WEPON! TWELVE TRAP CARDS! Der waz no esceping now. The duel was comubg 2 n end. Dib is FUCKED. "Uoy can Do- wait what the fuck am I doing? He's finally going to die." Gaz sled. "S **HH** ** _UP G_** ** _AS!"_** DIB SHOUTED. "I WILL NAUGHT! LOOSE! 2 AN ADRIEN!" Dubbed was so detremined 2 win. He wuz at hiz final brekage of powell. "Oh no..." Tic-Zim muppered. Den a gold lite flasged N' wen da light cleared... "Dibz hyper-paranormal investigator forrm! At dis stage, his power levelz are skyricketing clompare 2 Masturz!" Gir explaned. "Feh, a goofy outfit adn a swrod iznt gunna defet me." Zim said, raislimg hiz cardz. "We'll see aboat that, space-boy." Dib crocked hiz nek.

Zerm made tgr firzzzt stripe, throughing hiz card at dib. He didges and goes 4 the kill. Zim catched his sword blade in two fimgers bee? 4 punchign dIb im da faex.

"URGH! why you little..."

"How DARE u call me shorp wen im superior 2 ur race!" Zim shoute, jumping up on Dibz sord proceeding 2 strike many times with hiz cards. Don fell on 2 the grind but got back up. "Now y'our actually starying 2 piss me off." Dib wiped blood away from hus facee. He swiftlg ran twoward2 zim. "Heh, heh. Nao I can use my most poweful attack." Zim sed. Da cars rhen became 1 BIG CARD, an energy beam shootung dib away.

Evry1 gasp!ed

"Master's most powerfull attack...the alpha card... that'z srong enuogh 2 kill an entire crew ov Vortians!" Gir gasped.

"Is he dead yet?" Jazz aske.

Dib gop ut, trying to attack zum agnen, but again and again, he wuz shoy awey by teh alpha card.

Dib lay on the floor. "He's too srtong...no matr whut I do, i jus cant defeat him!" Suddenly, the voice of hiz father rung in his hed.

 _"Make meh praud sun. Becuom the best man u can evre be."_

Hiz eyes waidened. "Nu... I womt be beaten by am allan. I WILL B TEH BEST PANORAMIC INVESTIGLER I CAN EVUR BBBBBB!" HE SCREAM.

He uzed up all hiz mana and stamana 2 charge the sword, ran behind Zim and slashed the card in half.

Evry1 gasp_ !

"Impossibke! That was the most powerful card I had!" Zim exclaimed. "Nut powellful enugh." Dib insulted before crushing his pak with his foot.

His body collapsed and fell.

"Cmon gaz, lesgos." Dib & Gaz welkad hom.

"Hee hee! Good timg I saved hiz pak data on a dribe and kno how 2 make a new pak!" Tic gigged.


	5. Edge

Tye watched as his "master" created a new Zim. He was quiet, yet he couldn't help but feel guilty. He was just playing a little prank on his friend by hexing her, then it turned into this huge mess. Everything was silly at first. He even enjoyed watching and acting along with the shennanigains. Though he wondered, what about her career? Tic was an invader, not a bounty hunter. Someone was already working on this planet; there was no point for her to help. Fuck, what about his career?! He should have just kept himself locked in the lab. He didn't know jack about dark magic, so why did he even do it? Tye fiddled at the cinnamon sweater he used to poorly disguise himself. He had to get somewhere else. If the Tic he was working with now saw him in this state, she'd probably bash his head in "b cuz das whut servintz geeet!" He exited the base and sat on the floor of Zim's living room. "That tiny robot always watches this show," He thinks, observing the malfunctioning SIR. "The only personality it has is screaming and crying."

Tye sighed and put his head in his palm, forcing himself to watch a convulsing primate.

"Tye! Girp! Luuk! Zimz! bak!" Tic shouted, somehow entering the room by phasing through the floor. "YEH!" Gir ran to Zim and hugged him. It looked like a distorted good ending if only Zim hadn't sounded like he was fake-crying or at least trying to cry when he didn't feel a need to at all.

Tye watched them have their little reunion until Tic spoke up. "O ye tye i ned u 2 go 2 skool wif me 2 dae," she said. "M-may I ask why?" Crap, Tye's starting to lose his acting skill to stress. "MISHUN 2 MAEK PPL TINK I NOT ALEM!" Tic exclaimed. Great.

Tye had a feeling it's going to be a long day.

School was such an awkward experience for Tye. By human standards, he looked like a student fresh out of primary school and about to enter secondary school. Everyone towered over him; staring at this oddly short, green adult when he walked by.

Lunch came and it wasn't unlike his experience in class. He sat alone at a table as Tic wrought her melancholy. Tye looked down and avoided eye contact with everyone else. He hated it here! Not just at school but here on earth. Tye just wanted to go home and forget any of this happened, then get ready the next morning, go to the labs and resume his chemistry experiments. Everything would be back to normal but right now it isn't.

"U alen."

A voice took Tye out of his thoughts as he faced the source. Oh no. Ohhh nooo. Today, Dib was a terrifying sock puppet that was controlled by a hand coming out of the cafeteria table. Tye inched away from the monster, holding into a juice box he was "ordered" to get for comfort. "DRINK THE ORANGE OR U R ALIEN," Dib commanded. Tye began to sweat. Drink the orange? Well this was orange _juice_ , but not a singular orange. Drink the orange echoed in his head. Drink the orange. Drink the orange. Tye became extremely anxious. Every muscle in his body stiffed up as he raised the box to his mouth and stuck out his tounge. Drink the orange. He was going to drink the orange. This was a suicide, Tye learned that when Zim came in contact with meat. "DRINK THE ORANGE!" Dib became impatient. Shit, shit, shit. Tye sipped the juice and god did it burn. It was like drinking coffee right after it was done boiling. It was still burning down his throat and in his squeedly-spooch. It hurt so bad that he slapped the puppet Dib away and made a bolt to the bathroom. Nobody was in here, so he could wait the pain out without being noticed.

It was going to be a long day.


	6. DA FITE: Gir loses a rap battle

Damn it. God damn it. Gaz couldn't believe she was being forced by a grammatically and existensially challenged bug to "abide by the story theme." What story? There was never a story and there never will be. If Tic was referring to copying how she acted, like the majority of everyone else present in the room, she would rather be arrested for manslaughter. "Abed by da rulz or u git out of sroty!" Tic babbled. Gaz looked at her, rage was the only emotion that could be seen in her eyes. Tic then shook Gaz violently while incomprehensively spouting about "teh rulze." Gaz then sucker-punched Tic in the abdomen before pinning her down with her arms behind her back. Tye looked to Gaz then to Tic. This may not be seeing his Tic, but her physical form was still there. He knew if he wanted the real Tic back, he'd have to prevent this one from dying.

"St-stop! Let her go!" He stuttered.

Tic's hex power den becem so sromg dat NAO IT HAZ TO BR TYPED LIEK DIS AGEN. No like seriously, that form somehow actually takes effort wtf. Adn den Gaz wuz liek deez ppl naow. She stud up, hed don. Showly, zhe reizd hur hed an sed, "I... Am Gapiz Gazuli! And you can't keep me trapped here anymore!" Then wings maid uv derknezz sprout out of hur bak. Dhe turned 2 gir bee 4 smilign gir iz teh onleh 1 she smilz 2. "Gir...thank you!" She thankd before flying to homeworld.

Dib luokd Gazuli flyig a way den loked at evr1 elsa "I cna sey 4 evey juan tat dis wuz teh wurst dae ov meh lehf."

"Well shit look what the みみ dragged in." Hyperintelligent Gir sed. "Ha u weeb lozr I bet u didnt evin lern jap. Wow. Hashtag Papethic." Dipping sauce insulted.

"Actually the person making me say this has a Japanese class at their school and all they know to write Japanese is the entire Hiragana alphabet."

"Fuk u ur stul unebubated WEEDABOO!"

"OH FUCK MAN YOU WANNA GO? YOU FOUGHT MASTER BUT NOW IT'S A GOD DAMNED ROBOT!"

"I will rhyme you into OBLIVION!"

"Bring it on, Gary Oak."

"Fuck yeah Ash Ketch-Gir. I'm Gary Motherfucking Oak and I'm about to spit out some sick fires. I'm the king of everything under the sun. I'm just like parappa the rapper except I like hotdog buns. I'm gonna beatdown your butt I'll contention you face. I'll eat all the babies in the human race." Dib rapped.

"Y wuld dib say somefin like dat? OmO" Tic asked. "I dunno, he never called me a weeb wjen I was worse than this." Gir teplied. "I'm honestly going to neglect the demonic manipulation and actually contemplate what the hell is going on here." Zim said, out of turn. "Hah! How does it feel to be shut down by my superior rapping techniques? I will show you the power of forbidden rhyme!" Dib declared. "Dib, this is entirely unimpressive." Zim criticsized. "You have yet to see my true power HAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" Bib screamed. "Actually this is even more retarted than what I'm supposed to be right now. I'm going to bed." Gir walked off. "YOU CANT GO TO BED actually I'm on 20% so I'm going to die. Later." Dib announced before he made his voyage into the sunset. He'll be back.


	7. Season 8 Ep 156: The Return of Sakura

**A/N: Welp my phone's broke and I finally hacked my way back into my own account because fucking fanfiction needs a number with your password and I forgot the one I used. I was supposed to post a "Halloween and Thanksgiving Special," but that's not happening with my god damn English teacher giving my class a fuck ton of essays.**

It was an anime episode on the beach and Tic was with all her friends plus the entire cast of _Happy Days._ Jamie Dornan was there too but nobody liked him. "Wao I'm sher hapie taht Dib iz ded!" Tic happily said. ":3 Me ! 2!" Zim replied. "Alzo... I luv u"

"GAHAAPS! I LUBE YUU 6 ZEM!"

"IM GLADoS DAT MAH PIGGY HERE!123123drinkthrowembacktillIlosecount! Gir yelled.

"Senpai is here." Jamie Dornan said before everyone told him to shit the fuck up. He is fucking cancer and everyone knows it because Tic said so. "Man Tic is so perfect! I wish I could be with her. Zim is so lucky!" Tom Bosely said. "Lolz well u cant hav her bc im with her and if u steer hr dat maekz u antagonostic." Zim fought back. "Of course Zim-san. I'll get back to building the Irken Kingdom so the fans will get the post-canon content confused with the epilogue."

"Wait what fuck no don't do that." But it already happened. "Time for Irksea Borealis!" Tom said. "Damn it Tom, not again!" Ron Howard scolded. The audience laughed. Tic laughed, then noticed something was wrong with Gaz. "awe whutz wong?" She asked. "I just feel trapped." Gaz muttered. "Well, yyu miror." Tic said, it was obvious. "Please, get me out. I don't want to be in here anymore!" She pleaded. Tic laughed hysterically. "Typicul edgy Gapis Gazuli!" She then threw her in the ocean and sighed, lying on the sand. "Ths iz a happier endeeng." She sighed.

"HAHAHAHA, TOO BAD!" Invader Sakura said before tying the main group minus Tic up in Christmas lights and plugging it in, electrocuting everyone. Also Gaz and Dib were back for some reason but they were tied up. "No! It can't be," Tic thought, "she's supposed to be in space! How did she find us?" Tic snapped out of it and saw her friends being slowly killed. "Hey! Leave my friends alone!" She told Sakura. Sakura made an angry face at her before smugly grinning. "Okay okay, but you'll have to fight me first." Sakura challenged.

"I-" Tic began, but she was shoved into some kind of magical box barrier. **"I WILL KILL YOU ONE MILLION TIMES!"** Sakura's demonic voice growled. She had new ninetail kitsune powers. She then began stabbing Tic over and over before a weak hand slapped it out of her. "Don't touch Tic..." Tye demanded. Sakura laughed evily and pulled out another knife, but that was slapped out of her hand too. This repeated for two more times before she yelled, **"STOP IT!"**

 **"** WHO IS TOUCHING THE TIC?!" an Irken guard asked. Everybody pointed to Sakura. "DON'T TOUCH THE TIC!" A group of people scolded. Tye looked at the commotion before pointing to Zims 3. "He's touching Tic!" He accused (but like it was true so Tye needs to get him away from her somehow.) "ARE YOU TOUCHING THE TIC!?" The guard asked. "No!" Zim lied before receiving a slap to the face and a group of people yelling "DON'T TOUCH THE TIC!"

"Yeah! Don't touch me!" Tic agreed.

Sakura was running impatient. She was pissed beyond belief that these idiots thought that they could SAVE theirselves. **"I'VE HAD ENOUGH! RAAAAGH!"** A bright light came and Sakura's non-sue form appeared. "Hi. It's me," then she turned into a tallest, **"レイベンヌ サクラ** **."**

"WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!" Tic demanded.

 **"あなたの友達、思い出。 私はそれらをすべてゼロに戻します。** **"**

 **"SHUT IT YOU FUCKING WEEB I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK!"** Tic then absorbed her power and passed through the barrier where Zim was. "Don't touch me. Don't touch the Tic." She said before mounting a god horse and riding off into the sunset.

 _Its over... isn't it?_

-Deedee Mango Hall


	8. Chapter 100

**A/N: DID I STRESS THAT SAKURA WAS EVIL!?** ** _NO!?_** **FUCK.**

Sakura needed to lvl up +1 to her evil anime invader rival quota. Sne needed an apprentice to help her be evil, but legitimately nobody wanted to help her. Not a creature wanted to help her in all through the house. Not even a mouse. She doesn't even have a house. BUT LIKE THATS NOT THE POINT

Sakura was so evil that one would have to be under a hex to help her, or extremely stoned which was what skoodge is right now. Skoodge has betrayed us all. (Note how the chapter file is named "fuck you skoodge.")

Sakura had her sugoku kakoi armageddon egg. You dont fucking understand, she NEEDED THis egg to work so she gave it to Skoodge but he just stood there with the egg.

"Don't just STAND there you worthless fucking slob **HIDE** the egg." She thought. "... _dube."_

* * *

Suddenly... weed dreams...

The egg cracked and a tiny sakura popped out of the egg.

"Hide me you bloated douche." She demanded. So, Skooge put her on the table."Thats just on the table thats not hidden."So,skoodge actually hid her

"That's under my own ass, supid. Try again."

But it didn't work becausd the sponsor of the entire Irken race, Bitches4Stitches came in but its niot like Irkens are a consumer good. You need to stitch yourself to get a bitch, tho.

* * *

Try 2, Sakura was going to capture Zim and take him on a date but for some raisin Skoodge came along too. Its all good fuck i mean bad because Zim is gonna b manipulated.

"Bube i have the perfdect d8te idea, we will go to Subway™ and stand outside... to smell the sandwihc make." Sakura declared before standing outside of a subway vent and smelling thise fuvkomf sandwiches. Skoodge started smelling but realized something horribly wrong. "Bro these sandwiches smell like shit."

" _MMMMMMM"_

"Stop smelling the vent smell at least go inside."

" _ **MMMMMMMMM**_ "

"You entire ass, look the hot bitch is escacing to the side." He stated as Zim escaped their lethal trap. Sakura took off the vent and placed her entire head in it.

* * *

"Dufe are you scoping that **hot bipches** ass?" Sakura asked Tic. "Oh my god I'm so _triggered_ that you would try to steal Zim away from me."

"You're the one to talk, fuckmunch."Tic replied which pissed Sakura off which was good because Tic automatically wins at everything. "Oh HELL no. Yuu no I will whip your ass the same way I did a month ago." Sakura claimed. "Oh yeah? Well you're so unoriginal that you constantly make refrances to a shitty comic and kid's show. I make refremces to _memes_ like an _intellectual_ would."

 _ **"STILETTO'S DIMENSION IS NOT SHITTY YOU MISOGYNIST FUCK!"**_

"Oh, but their fans are, you _feminazi scum._ " Tic stated. Sakura became petrified, cracked into a million pieces, then rematerialized. "You baka,.. Zim will be MINE, he loves me the most!" She placed her finger in the air to make a point.

"You bullshitting assbitching motherfucker." Zim, who was in the distance, shouted.

"Ohohohohoho! I'm winning, see?"

"That's a lie, numbnuts."

"i swear our entire existence is made by Gir." Dib said.

"Are we going to have to fight again or what?"

"FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPPERT~!" Humanoid!tall!thick!Gir said.

Everyone groaned because they were tired of this bullshit. "You know what, Tye didn't get enough spotlight iin thii2 chapter so I'm just going to kill him." Sakura said and stabbed Tye. Tye coughed up translucent pink blood and fell to his knees. "So... this is the end... I'm- I'm sorry I couln't make it for you, Ti-"

"Fuck off with the edgy eulogy and die already." Tic demanded and Tye died. Ok im tired and I want breakfast bye.


End file.
